Saturday, March 24, 2012

I am not a victim (A short poem) by Grant Garibay


I am not a victim



I am not a victim of the world I see
For I am where I want to be
I view this world through the frame of me
In the midst of my society
With walls erected for my hart
To keep me safe from the dark
 I started early from the start
And filled my head with useless parts
Beauty and love was all around me
 But I was blind to its surrounding
Freedom! Freedom! My hart rang
But I held tight to suffering
With the help of friends my hart grew
To lift me out of this place I knew

I’m not a victim of the world I see
For I am where I want to be
I can choose the path less traveled see
And live in the world of integrity
I control my guiding light
That keeps me safe through the night
Walls and boundaries it knows none
It breaks them down just for fun
One wall, one part, a shadow gone
I gain strength ‘n rise like the sun
Darkness, walls, a crooked plot
Just reinforce the love I’ve got
Not always easy or full of fun
Peace of mind is worth the run

I’m not a victim of the world I see
For I am where I want to be
If I hold on tight to the past
The bigger fears web has cast
 Outcome, future, yesterday’s sorrow
Clog my lens in flesh I borrowed
If I break the rules I break my-self
And I can choose cause I am god
Surrender is the only proof
That I’ve the power to clear my fog
Knowing and doing are not the same
Love’s a verb and that’s the game
So bring the depths of fear and shadow
I’ll bring my hart to win the battle
I’m not a victim of the world I see
For I am where I want to be

Monday, March 19, 2012

Ch 2 outline of the Group Conversation Method


Outline of Reducing Social Tension and Conflict



Chapter 2: Group Conversation Enhances Other Methods


I.      While sometimes Group Conversation is used alone as an enriching, esthetic, even an entertaining social experience in itself to help a group reach its goals of social action more easily and effectively, it is most often used in connection with other group methods.


·           This method is more than an ice breaker, more than merely getting to know the names of those who have come together and a briefly-told fact about them.

A.     Facilitates Group Discussion


1.     Group Conversation is not group discussion but moves into it when relevant. Group Conversation purposefully uses a minimum of structuring of the group so that discussion of problems is not invited at the outset of the meeting.

a)     The controversial aspects of an issue are intentionally postponed until a mood of acceptance has been developed so that the members of the group are able to enter the discussion phase when they are ready to enter into it constructively and with a sense of trust, openness and directness.

b)     Most experienced leaders know that, until the feeling of strangeness, suspicion or even hostility is cleared, little real business in any meeting can be taken care of.

c)      When the feelings are complicated by many kinds of differences, not to mention those of nationality, religion or race, the blocks to real group development can be serious.


2.     If we assume that a group goes from discussion to problem solving and decision, thence to commitment and action, then Group Conversation may be seen as a prior step to this progression.


a)     Group Conversation prepares for profitable discussion by helping to point up the basic and strategic aspects of a problem so that the group can look squarely at what is of issue, then work on it. 

b)     Too often we cover up what is fundamental by cluttering the issue with nonessential; we loose sight of the goals of a program or the crux of a problem.

c)      We consciously and purposely hide certain crucial data from others, or unconsciously secrete them out ourselves.

3.     Group Conversation can be especially helpful to bring up to the level of awareness much of the material which we either as individuals or as a group, have pushed below with our rationalizations.

a)     Sharing earlier experiences of having been made to feel strange or different or queer, or of being rejected or of rejecting, may, for example, bring importation facets and depth to the exploration of some aspect of the issues (fair employment or school integration)

b)    The kind of data we should need to look for, how we could best go about getting at them – in fact, the very way we formulate a problem – could be uncovered by the kind of interchange at this level of emotional involvement.

4.     The discussion phase may flow directly out of concerns pointed up in the Group Conversation and become one continuous process if the leader feels at home in both techniques. Or the discussion may follay a coffee or refreshment break.

a)     The topic for the Group Conversation need not necessarily be related to the problem to be discussed, though often it is.

·           For example: A meeting between white and black men who are real estate operators, meeting together for the first time to consider first steps they might take toward open housing in a Southern city, matched their memories of boyhood games at the start of the evening. The release of tensions through laughter about those early escapades, and they were very similar as they were to all American boys, gave the group the momentum after coffee to make some first steps together on the thorny subject of housing.

b)     Group Conversation serves as a prelude to the workshop. It establishes an atmosphere that inspires the participants to share the kind of experiences that will bring deeper meaning to the impact of the total workshop.


B.     Impetus to Conference Progress

1.     For introducing the theme of a conference, seminar, or workshop, Group Conversation can be very effective.

a)     It can help a group, meeting for the first time, and for a short period, to move into the matter at hand much more rapidly and directly.

·           Not only can the necessary details of introduction be taken care of, but attendant anxieties to establish identity and “protocol” (a need so much more pronounced in the frenzy and briefness of conference encounters) can be allayed.

·           Members are more ready to buckle down to business, in sufficient depth to proceed with intensity and progress.

·           Many leaders who have worked a Group Conversation into the schedule find that the time is more than compensated for by the speed with which the rest of the meeting moves into the heart of the discussion and action.



b)     There may be occasion to use several group methods with Group Conversation.  

·           As an initial event on any program, Group Conversation can be valuable for the reasons given above. It may be used at anytime in a schedule to open up a session, or a discussion, or a new structuring of the group.

·           If the assembly is a large one, the different units may be set up in a concurrent round of Group Conversation.

­       A skilled leader can work with a very large group, but should not look for as deep penetration in the individual experiences.

­       Through vicarious participation, however, a group mood can be developed even in a large gathering which carries over into other parts of the program.

­       If the conference is on urban renewal and housing, for example, a Group Conversation, carefully planned to elicit emotional experiences around home or rooms with which we can identify deeply, can be a potent discussion dynamic.

C.     Provides Warm-up for Buzz Groups

1.     Group Conversation can be used very effectively to warm up a large group preparatory to its break-up into buzz groups in which case real thought must go into structuring the questions that are to be buzzed.

a)     The leader should be reminded also that the dividing of the groups should be done as quickly as possible

b)     They should, however, enhance or sharpen the areas of personal as well as group relevance and identity.

·           In such situations differing groups can learn from each other. 

D.    Sets Up Role Play

1.     For the leader who is trained in role playing and can see applicable incidents to play to for elucidation or for psycho- or socio- dramatic impact, Group Conversation is a particularly fertile sources for this kind of material, easier and more relevant to deal with than incidents imagined before the session by the role play leader.

a)     Here, the experience to be re-enacted, with the full potential and range of role playing, is oftentimes the more dramatic and meaningful because it arises in the context of the group’s sharing and situation.

2.     The Group Conversation leader need not be the one to stage the role playing. Often it would be well for the two functions to be lodged in different persons, especially if both are sensitive to group phenomena and to each others leadership style.

a)     Perhaps for those new to the method, it would be better for the role playing to follow the completion of the Group Conversation phase

b)     It may not be easy for the novice to keep hold of the mood or direction of the Group Conversation although, by and large, both processes operate on the dimensions of the emotions.

3.     As one familiar with the dynamics and procedures of role playing is aware, the closer to the evaluation of the experience the re-enactment can come, the greater the psychological impact.

a)    Because the incident is the emotional property of the group, it can be used with effect at anytime in the context of the group.

·           Emotional property is valuable for all of the reasons stated above, but because of its unique relationship to the group it is a powerful force in the battle of otherness in its unifying function.

4.     The experienced leader of role playing will see that its use in the contest discussed is especially effective in problems of social or self-inquiry and understanding.

a)     Where the group is small and is on ongoing one, it is very often effective to play out the incident as it is offered in the Group Conversation, in any or all of the ramifications that may ensue in role playing.

5.     Very often we have found that the playing out of a highly relevant experience becomes the moving and impact-filled climax of a meeting.

a)     It becomes, that is, the dramatic ending of the Group Conversation session.

b)     Whether the group moves from this point depends on its resources, needs, and maturity as a group, and on the awareness, imagination, and creativity of its leaders.

c)      The fullness of the moment can be translated into many kinds of assets on which can be built dimensions of growth as an individual, as a group, as a community, as a people.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Stright From the Hart

OK. This one is a real treat. It's my favorite song. I cant listen to this one without getting watery eyed. I feel this is a win-win song because it is about overcoming fear for the betterment of yourself and those around you.


Monday, March 12, 2012

Chaper 1 Outline on Group Conversation


Outline of Reducing Social Tension and Conflict




Chapter 1: What is Group Conversation?


I.      The despair induced by the disorientation and dislocation develops soon into hostility and loss of faith.


A.     Communication channels among the many disparate elements that mount quickly in a community at odds with itself become drastically reduced at a time when open minds are most necessary to unify efforts towards constructive, deliberate action.


1.      Few American communities are not affected by these dynamics.

a)     They assume different structural specifics, but the psychological impact of the circumstances takes on a similar cast.

b)     The result is such an assault on the elements and resources of a particular aggregation as often to lead to a paralyzing inability in the group to deal with the problems which ensue.

2.      How can we transcend exacerbating circumstances so that the community can experience some redemptive healing relationship for those who live and work in the area?

a)     There is a need for approaches that are fresh, renewing, creative, where heart can reach out to human heart in joy and love.

b)    We can transcend these circumstances by recognizing dehumanizing illusions that our differences and the false perceptions we have of them create.

·           Race, age, social status, ethnic background, religious faith, religions, economic income, and educational sophistication.

c)    Detailed reports of group experiences in which many of these blocks were removed because differences came to be seen as assets will be found throughout this book.



B.     A widely tested method that works

1.      Some solutions [that aim to unite us and eliminate our perception of “otherness”] have been less relevant, less complete, less direct that others. Generally, however, they have reawakened  attributes and abilities of the persons gathered, bringing to the group’s deliberations and concerns such resources and energies as to make their experience together a meaningful one.

2.      The way toward a solution is usually illuminated with a new sices of mutual trust and discovery [].

a)     Of new insights about oneself.

b)      About each other.

c)      About the group.

d)     About getting together on the problem,

e)     About renewal.


C.    This restructuring of the situation to bring a wholeness of the group focused upon a particular concern, we see as a key for the group to sue in dealing with problems which our society has allowed to alienate us as

a)     Persons

b)     People

c)      Communities

d)     A nation


D.    There are, then, many reasons for the use of Group Conversation by the alert group worker. Among these reasons are:

1.      To help make for an easier access one to another just as persons, without the socio-economic trappings and status that so often block direct communication.

2.      To help leaders to become more aware of their own feelings and be more sensitive to the feelings and needs of others

3.      To help counteract stereotyped attitudes often found among members of various racial, religious and cultural groups, and by releasing the potential mutual enrichment in such groupings to promote understanding among and active interest in them, leading to a richer common [] live.

4.      To cultivate among all members of an organization, new and old, a deeper sense of belonging and fellowship.

5.      To integrate the newcomer, the person from another ethnic group, the student from abroad, the refugee, the member of another generation, the migrant worker, and so on, into the fellowship of the group.

II.   The Unique Qualities of Group Conversation



A.     When a small number of persons – from 10 to at most 30 – take an hour in which to exchange memories of experiences of joy or sorrow in a group experience based on spontaneity, a warmth and closeness develop quietly and quickly. When this sharing is directed around a universal theme, even a very mixed group can see and feel the oneness of the human family and can gain an appreciation of the beauty, significance and wondrous qualities inherent in diversity.


B.     Group Conversation is this face-to-face sharing of experiences both of the past and of the present in a spontaneous atmosphere which quickly produces rapport.

1.      This kind of sharing helps to break down the fears and suspicions that separate us because our culture has taught us to see our differences of age, race, ethnicity, creed or class as liabilities.  

2.      While the initial phases of the give-and-take in a Group Conversation are not problem-centered, they help build a basis of faith and trust upon which the participants can more effectively work out their problems of living together in home and community.

v     This is the uniqueness of Group Conversation – its ability to quickly produce confidence and trust among its participants.


C.    The method described in this book seeks to change the group situation in such a way as to transcend the fear, suspicion and hostility so that these forces do not stand in the way of our dealing positively with them as they arise in our day-to-day transactions with life.

1.      The process we call Group Conversation is a way of using a group to center on each of its members and a way of helping its members to develop into a real group.

a)     I like to think of a real group as a team.

2.      Its impact on the individual helps him become more sensitive to life’s moments and often to motivate him to bring about needed change, both within himself and within his environment.

3.      It is the kind of change which brings deeper, more sincere and satisfying communication between individuals and thereby gives a richer quality to our common American life.


D.    The authors of this book have [] found that Group Conversation can be quickly learned and practiced by group leaders in

1.      Community centers

2.      Government agencies

3.      Schools

4.      Teacher training institutions

5.      Churches

6.      And even in homes.


E.     Psychological Roots of Group Conversation’s Success

1.      Group Conversation is a way of helping members of a group to experience a sense of our common humanity by first reaching back into the past for memorable experiences to be shared around a topic of universal moment.

a)     The method is designed to facilitate real and spontaneous communication by developing the social climate which fosters mutual regard and confidence.


2.      Leaders in social psychology and group procedures see Group Conversation as a unique and important step in the development of the group because it…

a)     Its effectiveness of this simple informal method for quickly establishing rapport.

b)     Participants are brought into greater readiness for

·           Encounters

·           Discussions

·           Problem solving

·           Decision making

·           And other levels of social thinking and action.

3.      Group Communication breaks though to unifying feelings because it leads participants to the kind of communication that reaches the hart of a human situation.

v   Gordon Allport says, after experiencing this process, said, “The participant does not think himself into a democratic way of acting (as lecturers, preacher, and writers ask us to do) but rather acts himself into a democratic way of thinking. This is sound psychology.”


F.     Group Conversation Revives a Lost Art

1.      The name Group Conversation comes from the simple fact that your having a conversation in the setting of a group.

a)     Like any other good conversation form, that much lamented lost art, it requires a willingness to share and a willingness to listen creatively with tenderness and firmness.

2.      Understanding and real communication can come only in wholeness and freedom.

a)     If we reflect on these attributes, we realize that they are requisite to all human relationships, of which person-to-person conversation is a highly developed and yet spontaneous form.


3.      Spontaneity is of the essence, and a well-conducted session can be a moving and profound experience.

a)     This seeming paradox implies a delicate balance of trust and expectation.

b)      It requires that the leader not only be open to all the magic that can be touched off in a group, but that he be alert as well to catch the sparks that can set it off.

c)      It means that he must be able to convey this faith and sense of ease to the group; but, as with any art, this ability comes with practice.

·           The leader learns to be spontaneous and to trust the group because time and time again something comes spontaneously from the group which is so much more moving than anything he may have thought during planning.

·           In fact, he learns so much from the group – gets such a sense of self-fulfillment and inspiration – that sometimes he sues the phrase, “There is magic in a group.”


d)     This unifying feeling is so necessary to the strength of a group that all group leaders might well consider using regularly some method to produce (or, shall we say, release) this feeling of belonging together.

·           In the most dangerous phase of the civil rights struggle in the South no march or demonstration ever took place without spending at least an hour’s time in singing freedom songs.

·           The leaders knew the time was well spent, for it was this feeling which carried and upheld them in facing electric prods, dogs, clubs, and even jail.

·           The Religious Society of Friends uses the unifying process of a period of group silence [].


G.    Extra Points

1.      After experiencing common feelings around some universal topic, the participants now had enough mutual confidence and trust to be able to bear the thrust of honesty and challenge of an encounter group even when voices were raised and harsh things said.

2.      Group Conversation aims at helping to start flowing in a group that spirit of mutual confidence and trust needed when members enter later an encounter group which by its nature consists of being honest if it hurts.

a)     Very often encounter groups. Starting first with expressions of anger, end on a note of anger with less than a sense of growth.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Sound of Synergy

OK. I have loved this one for years. Its Amazing Grace mixed with The House of the Rising Sun. I would say the sum is definitely greater than its parts for this song...Enjoy!!



The epitome of win-win

The other day I got an email from a new friend. It looks like the law of attraction is no joke! Anyway, I don't have much to add to this video because it gets to the hart of what I have been studying for the last five years. This is BY FAR the most powerful video I have seen in my life. I don't thinks words can do it justice...

WOW!! : )

Friday, March 9, 2012

On Collaborative Infrastructure


        Just got back from a meeting with a Steiner teaching college for thoughts on holding a workshop facilitating win-win tools. My mind is spinning. I had no idea that there was a place that used a mutually beneficial  philosophy as a foundation for all disciplines. Talking about all of the different veins of collaboration and stuff like that, we reached a point where we said, “Hey, it seems that people are either with this concept or not. How can we (or can we even) get people that are not on board, on board with the win-win mindset?” As I was driving home, cooking, eating lunch, and going about my day, this idea consumed by thoughts. After a while it came to me. I was thinking about a history class I was in and how America’s growth through agricultural, industrial, and eventually consumer culture evolved and it hit me. Infrastructure! You can’t have anything with out the infrastructure to sustain it. That’s why the saying the teacher will appear when the student is ready is valid. America couldn’t have risen to industrial might without the political and agriculture infrastructure (and other stuff) to support its growth. We were the only place on earth that hadn’t experienced starvation because of a natural cause (political is a different story). This allowed us to sustain and develop into a world super power. The same is true with industry, and the same is true with consumerism. Tell you what, the same is true with love and collaboration.  So the question is, how can we build a strong infrastructure of collaboration?
     
      This conclusion came to me when I realized that everything that is growing or stable is balanced. Everything that is out of balance is either breaking or dying. When I noticed this, I realized that everything is a relationship in some context or another. The parts of your car’s engine are intimately connected and must be balanced to survive. Friends, lovers, families, communities, automobiles, even the world and the solar system have to be balanced in order to function. They are all sustained by the same thing…Love. This line of thought is congruent with Ken Wilber’s philosophy of Whole Parts. Ken says that since the beginning of time people have argued that a thing (like the atom, world, or whatever) was either a whole separate from the other or just parts of other things lacking individually, and that the truth is, they are both. We live in a binary universe with yin and yang inherent throughout. 
        I chose win-win because it is more main stream with less negative connotations than holistic. I guess it doesn’t spring up as many barriers and at the same time demonstrates value for the reader off the bat. I feel that the word love has the same problem. People tell me that it is impossible to articulate what it means, but I feel like it isn’t too hard. I feel like Love, balance, harmony, and the like, all mean the same thing.  The English language as well as other norms get in the way, but I feel like if you told someone “I love you”, it’s kind of like saying, “you help me achieve balance” or “I wish you balance”. When two people are in love, I see at as two people are balanced. Obviously an intimate relationship requires a deeper level of balance, but it also applies to relationships in all contexts. This theory is also congruent with an idea I found in the book "Mindfulness and Money" that says (loosely paraphrased) all that life is, is taking in things that help you, pushing out things that harm you, and maintaining a barrier to the outside world. So when I think about whats needed to facilitated more collaborative thought I need to remember to establish the infrastructure necessary  to facilitate it.


  • more dots and connections to come (elaboration)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Magic's secrets exposed

·     Magic is pretty simple; its practice, its training and experimenting, while pushing yourself and pushing through the pain to be the best that I can be. (David Blane)


 I love David's quote because it gets right to the hart of anything that we call magical or mystical or whatever. It reminds me of the Greek Gods serving the purpose of filling voids in awareness or understanding. The book llusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah pops in my mind as well. I think I'll go into that one later, but it basically says that all of our barriers in life are illusions caused by fear to explore things that are go against our socialization and genetic hard-wiring. When someone manages to grow beyond their ability and the ability's of those around them, we call it magic, witchery, or something else. Its like seeing a hole that we have no peg for. It wouldn't be uncommon for people to worship these people like they are endowed with something beyond their abilities or made from different whatever. They see difference through a pin-hole of perspective and project their perceptions of otherness on "magic" individuals. This is just a hunch, but I think that those that are lucky enough to look "behind the curtain" of illusion and see what really makes it tick find it easier to use "otherness" as an excuse for the fear of going down the path less traveled; I know I have. And I still do. It is hard to surrender to the truth, even when its right in front of you.